Christmas Trilogy, Episode 1

Thus begins the tale of our first ever Christmas together.  The pain and dreaming of finally being together from former Christmases filled with phone calls, instant messaging, love notes, emails, and skype is easy to recall, though with the blessing of marriage this year, it is fading into a distant shadow of things past.  It causes one to pray for friends and family who desire the same.

This first post in the Christmas series features an early morning to late night trip to a rather blustery and frigid Washington D.C.  Any future trips will be planned in warmer weather.

 Inside shot of the Smithsonian Castle.  Gorgeous!

 Brian and I decided that if we ever build a house, this is what the library will look like...  Dreaming doesn't cost money, so it's fun to build our dream house.

 Brian took most of the pictures and mostly of random objects.

 In the Air and Space Museum, there is a display that lists the requirements of flight attendants back when flight was first invented.  We thought most of them rather silly, but an interesting read.  A few signs were indicative of the morals that once existed--you couldn't be a flight attendant if you were married, divorced, had children, or "loose."

 This is an example of an outlandish requirement...

 Brian took plenty of airplane pictures...

 Our capitol! (Not to be confused with "capital" which deals with money)

 I was rather fascinated by this silver metal tree.  It was beside an outdoor skating rink and adorable restaurant, and if it hadn't been so expensive, we would have tried it.   I've never been to an outdoor skating rink.

 We only looked in the front door of this museum...  Natural history is NOT one of my favorite topics and Brian wasn't interested either.

 Living History! 

 Brian was hugely fascinated with this sculpture of George Washington and took about 20 various shots in various angles and lighting effects.

 While we didn't tour all of the museum, we did check out Julia Child's Kitchen.  She has been my culinary inspiration of late and I had to see this display.

 Brian and I were both enthralled with how many different kitchen tools Julia owned!  This is only a sampling.  There were tools for activities we didn't even dream existed!  I think Brian enjoyed perusing this section even more than I did; particularly because he thinks we should add to our collection so he can have more "toys" to play with.  Her life is an intriguing study.

 Part of Julia's kitchen.  Brian and I discussed the aspects we liked and what we would change; one of which being the colors in her kitchen and the organization.

 Next stop: Holocaust museum.  Worth the trip, but horrific.  I don't plan to visit there again anytime soon.

 This place was full of one of my favorite topics: journalism.

 So true!

  But don't get me started...

 Washington Monument.  It was closed, so all we could do was look at it from afar.  I lost my hat here and my amazing husband chased it down for me.  My favorite hat has somehow been misplaced since I have been married.

 Half-mast.

 "O say, can you see?"

I was amazed that these flowers were all still in bloom!  So pretty.  

Well, that's all for now, Folks!

Smiles!

The Trials of Life

How great is our God!  How great is His love towards me!

26 degrees.  That’s what the thermometer said.  A glance outside told me it was correct, too.  A sheer layer of white puff lay on the ground.  The look was completed as the sleet produced instant glitter on the outdoor surroundings.  I listened and prayed as over and over I heard the sirens of emergency vehicles and skidding tires.  I prayed hard for my husband’s safety as he traveled home and listened sympathetically as he informed me that no one knew how to drive out there.  Neither one of us happy that his commute was now lengthened.  I love winter.  I love Christmas.  I love what it symbolizes.  I love the life, joy, peace, love, lights, aromas, and family gatherings that it brings.  I love the chilly weather.

And yet, it forced me to ponder the relationship between Christ, chilly weather, and long commutes.  If you were to measure your heart temperature (or love, service, etc.) towards Christ, where would it fall?  96 degrees?  42?  30? Negative 3?  As I pondered this question that hit me as I prayed, I wondered where my heart temperature fell.  Then another question struck me: as much as I dread my husband’s long commute, delays, distractions, and cannot bear to be separated from him, how much more does God dread our long commute to Him?  Can I bear to be separated from His presence?  Can I bear to NOT dwell in Him?  How often do I sever that cord of communication from Christ to my heart with distractions or delays?  This is not to say that we are ever separated from Him, but that’s another topic in and of itself.  Brian and I have longed recently for a deeper walk with Christ.  God has various ways of making this happen—and strengthening our marriage.  And it’s not always easy.

It has now been two weeks since I miscarried our 6-7 week old child.  It haunts me wherever I go, in whatever I do.  Dreams.  Memories.  Hopes.  Talks.  It all happened so fast—a month and a half of severe sickness, a nightmare of a week, the joy and then loss of a baby, and recovery.  I would like to say I am doing just fine; and in truth, sometimes I am okay.  But right now, I’m not.  I see babies everywhere.  I walk in the store and see the baby section.  All my friends and family are having babies.  I hear friends complaining about getting and being pregnant.  I wonder why God gives babies to those who don’t seem to want them and those of us who love them, lose them.

Physically, I’m still in a lot of pain.  Cramping.  Weak.  I feel so helpless and sort of failing as a wife because I’m having a hard time doing a lot right now.  I tire easily.  Sleep a lot.  Have a hard time eating.  I still have all of my pregnancy symptoms.  I want to be strong.  I want to be normal.  Everyone says to just move on—you’ll have another baby.  I’m trying.  But it’s hard.  It hurts so deeply inside—never before have I felt pain like this.  Trying to find a doctor/midwife and dealing with insurance is overwhelming to me.  I don’t know—sometimes I don’t like being a mercy—we seem to take things more to heart, hurt intensely, and hold on to things we probably should let go of.  I don’t want to be alone right now. 

I want to know what my baby looks like.  Whether baby is a boy or girl.  I want to see tiny feet and hands.  Cuddle a small body.  Hear coos.  See smiles.

I’m not usually morbid.  Some days I’m okay and others, well, others, it’s just hard.  But it leads me to question whether or not I will allow this, as with other trials, to draw me closer to God and to strengthen my marriage relationship.  I hope so.

That was really long.  But I needed to just write.  I feel like I haven’t been able to in so long.  I suppose I had better return to baking and cleaning in preparation for going to a bonfire tonight.

Smiles.

Christmas Decorations

This post will begin the story of our first Christmas together--ever! We forgot the camera when we went to cut down the tree, but used our cell phone instead...but I can't get it off Brian's phone while he is at work...

 Brian stringing the lights--I hate that part!  He said he had lots of practice. ;-)

 HUGE mess!

 Beginning to decorate!  It's a concolor tree and smells like spicy citrus!  Yes, it's tiny and real.  I have received an ornament every year I've been born from parents and grandparents, so I had a pretty decent collection of Christmas ornaments.  If we ever have a bigger tree, though, we'll need a LOT more.  I have a list of some I'd like to get...  I'd also like to collect Christmas mice.  I have a list of things to get for next year...slowly, but surely, my collection will grow.

 Sea chest.  Isn't my snowman adorable?

 Top of the Bookshelves.  I used old fabric from dresses I had made with my sisters and white lights my Grammy gave me to do all the shelves in my house with.  So pretty!  I found these goblets and candles on clearance!!  And purchased the greenery at the dollar store.

  I plan to do a video of the house Christmas Eve with all the lights on and my Christmas stockings and mistletoe... ;-)  There's a basket of cinnamon scented pinecones up there...hmmm!

 So...  I found out that Christmas decor is EXPENSIVE!!  As are nativity sets.  But, they're the whole reason we have Christmas, right?  So.... Brian and I traveled back to our childhood homeschool Christmases and made a paper set complete with paper snowflakes.  I couldn't find my colored pencils (still working on collecting craft supplies) so I used my chalks and hairspray to seal them.

 Angel, Mary, Joseph, donkey, and Baby Jesus.

 Snowflakes!  Friends are lending us a half sized keyboard and that has helped me in my wish for a piano.  I still have a hard time learning to play with half the normal amount of notes...

 LOVE this ornament!  I like the big and bold ornaments.

 Front hallway decor.

 Front door arrangement that I made!  I was so proud of this because I usually get my Mom or sister to do this stuff for me.  I have a hard time with it and don't enjoy it that much, but I really wanted to try it!  I love it (especially after my Mom put a few finishing touches on it).

 Candles, Nutcracker, and Angel.

 Pointsettia!

 Tea sets from my great-great grandmother--things she played with as a little girl.  I told Brian recently that I would really like to find a tea service that I like, and go to a tea room.  They're such fun & I really enjoy trying all the different foods and getting inspiration for my baking/cooking!  I went to a tea room in Dallas as a little girl, and the ladies who managed the place had served tea to the Queen of England--they were in her employ on a regular basis.  I looked it up and it is closed now.  For our 9th Birthday parties, my Mom did dress up tea parties for us, to help celebrate the transition from girlhood to womanhood.  Yup, I admit it.  I'm a girl.  ;-)

 Tree!  So pretty!  I love a well decorated tree!  Brian laughed and said I was like a kid in a candy shop, but he wanted to know why we even bothered with the tree--why not just dump everything on top?

Lights and window snowflakes!  Since I decorate mostly with flowers and plants, it's easy to change them seasonally.  I have my spring flowers from my wedding, now my winter flowers.  In summer I'll need to get some daisies, sunflowers, etc. and others in autumn.

  Well, that's all for now, folks!

Smiles!

Thanksgiving

And now begins a series of catch up posts...probably about 4 or 5 of them.  With pictures.  However, I believe our camera is dying, so we'll see how long that lasts.

 Roast Beef, Sour Cream, Garlic, and Dill Mashed Potatoes, Biscuits, and Veggies!

 Special green salad, Pasta with a light vinaigrette, and Stuffed Portobella Mushroom.

 The Turkey Cake we made for Thanksgiving!  Yes, we made ours a bit different--check out the feet.  We used licorice to make the "gobble gobble" and eye.  Some of my extended family is allergic to chocolate, so I made a yellow cake and used German Chocolate Frosting instead. It was yummy!  We froze it so we can pull it out again at Christmas.

 We spent a few days at my Grandparent's over Thanksgiving, since Brian had a three day weekend (!!) and decided to do some touring...  We were on our way to Somerset when we spied a sign for the "Flight 93 Memorial."  We changed course and decided to peek in.  The place is still very much under construction.

 The flag in the right hand corner that you can barely see is the actual site of the crash.

 More of the crash.

 This is way up in the mountains, and the first snow we saw of the season.

Somerset-it's a cute little village.

Smiles!

What's Cookin'?

Don't know what to make for dinner?  Tired of scrounging through your cupboards to put a meal together (and don't want to spend money at the grocery store)?  Creativity misplaced?

Check out these websites below:

http://allrecipes.com/Search/Ingredients.aspx

http://www.supercook.com/

http://www.recipematcher.com/

These websites feature a search engine that allows you to find recipes using ingredients you already have in your pantry.  Simply list the ingredients you have or want to use and those you don't have or don't want to use and voila!  Magic!

Talk about great inspiration at your fingertips!

(I'm fine tonight since Brian sent me a message this afternoon NOT to make dinner-that he had plans.  Can't wait to see what he's got in mind.  He also told me to "look pretty."  I'm loving this and just for the record--I've got the best husband in the world.  And he knows it, too. ;-)  I think he's also trying to cheer me up after today.  90 minutes and counting...)

Smiles!

Random Thoughts

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head that this is going to be a disappointing post because I'm not quite ready to share them yet.  They're still too confusing and overwhelming even for me: activities, holiday festivities, traveling, my amazing husband, babies, loss, God, winter, Christmas, church, planning/goals/dreams, etc.  I'm working on writing these thoughts down into concrete understandable form, but it might take me a few days to work through them all.  For now, however, here is a picture for thought:

The above picture is from a book series I used to read as a child.  Brian and I have had fun browsing through the library and bookstores perusing the books we read as children (they're the best written books ever! True classics!).  I've always loved mice.  Anything to do with mice.  I'm trying to find some Christmas mice to sit around and some ornaments too, but haven't had much success yet.  Anyway, I loved this book and am having a hard time finding it.  Why?  Because I can't remember the title.  I'm pretty sure it's a Little Golden Book.  I've spent hours trying to find the title (working on a writing project and no, I'm not telling), and it seems hopeless.  Have any of you read this book?  Remember the title?  Yup, I'm asking for help!

In other news, I had my hair cut.  Brian really likes it, and so do I--it's totally different, but I'm waiting till it loses that "first cut" look to post pictures.  After the last few weeks, we just felt we needed something new and different, or maybe I did.  It's short and has a ton of layers--quick and easy for me, but still learning how to get it to lay properly.  ;-)

The housing hunt continues... When we find something that's perfect, we are unable to get in contact with the owners, etc.  I know God has just the right place out there for us--it's just taking a while to find it.  We're hoping to just stay here until we find a place that suits our goals because we would rather not move every 6 months unless we need to. :-)

It's almost CHRISTMAS!!  And it FLURRIED the other day!  Even Brian was happy!  (or maybe he was just because I was)  My favorite time of the year!!

Smiles!